What kind of story do you tell about yourself? It has a surprisingly big impact on your future

Topics

• Competence development
• Job seeking
• Well-being and leisure

Who are you, where are you headed, and what are you capable of? Each of us tells a story about ourselves and our lives. The kind of story you tell about yourself can have a surprisingly significant impact on your future. It also reflects, for example, the attitude and self-confidence with which you approach your job search.

Each of us is a storyteller. We begin to form a sense of who we are early on and continue to do so throughout our lives: who we are, how we ended up here, and where we’re headed.

“This story isn’t just a chronicle; we’re constantly making narrative choices. We create explanations for why things happen and how we’ve ended up at this moment,” says positive psychology expert, non-fiction writer, and coach Rosa Nenonen.

Recognizing our own interpretations is important, as they influence the opportunities we see for ourselves now and in the future. This also has an impact on our professional lives. For example, what kinds of roles could we take on, or what kinds of tasks might suit us?

It is important to note that our minds are also constantly seeking confirmation for the story we tell ourselves.

In practice, this manifests itself, for example, in the way that if you think of yourself as a poor speaker, your attention is easily drawn to yawning or phone-scrolling in the audience, even if the reason is something else. The mind thus interprets the situation in a way that reinforces our own beliefs.

“It’s often not about what’s actually happening, but about the interpretation we make of it. Over the long term, these interpretations become beliefs that shape our self-image and our outlook on the future,” says Nenonen.

If we don’t recognize our own beliefs, we can’t change them either.

The sense of meaning is what matters most

There are many things in our lives that we cannot control. That is why it is helpful to focus on the things we can.

“We can especially influence our own thinking and how we approach things. This is where an optimistic attitude and positive psychology can help,” says Rosa Nenonen.

Positive psychology explores what helps people and communities thrive and realize their potential. It is not merely about positive thinking, but about the ability to live a meaningful life even in the midst of adversity.

The goal is to find ways to cope with difficulties and build a sense of meaning. Nenonen refers to neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl: “It is not circumstances that make life unbearable, but the lack of meaning and purpose.”

A sense of meaning is particularly important during difficult times. Relationships are central to this, followed closely by work. Unemployment therefore inevitably affects daily life and self-image.

An optimistic attitude helps us cope

Optimism means believing that, despite difficulties, good things can happen.

“Both optimistic and pessimistic attitudes are learned. Often one is more dominant, but you can still change your way of thinking later on,” says Nenonen.

She also reminds us of the negativity bias: our attention is easily drawn to what is wrong.

“The brain’s job is to ensure survival, so it looks for threats. In today’s world, however, this isn’t always to our advantage.”

Optimism can and should be practiced. People with an optimistic attitude, for example, recover more easily from setbacks, feel better, work more persistently toward their goals, and are often more effective at work.

Be on your own side!

Self-compassion can also be developed. According to Kristen Neff, who has researched the topic, self-compassion is built on three components through which it can be strengthened. These are 1) kindness as opposed to self-criticism, 2) humanity as opposed to isolation, and 3) mindful presence as opposed to overanalyzing.

Only by challenging our own beliefs can we see new possibilities. Remember that each of us has much more to offer than we often realize!

Exercises:

1. Reflect: What kinds of beliefs do you have about yourself, for example, as a job seeker or an employee? Complete the following sentences
   • I am…
   • I would never be…
   • I am too…
     
     
2. Once you’ve written down your beliefs, continue by asking
   
   • Is this true?
   • How do I know this is true?
   • Are my thoughts leading me in the direction I want to go?
     
     
3. Reflect: Do you recognize an optimistic or pessimistic attitude in yourself, or perhaps both? What could you do to change your attitude?
   
   
4. Reflect: What is good in your life? What about yourself, today, and your surroundings? Make a conscious effort to look for positive things. It increases positive feelings and broadens our thinking.